Are you ready?!

So I will be 38 weeks tomorrow and the question on everyone's lips is, "Are you ready?"
My answer is, "As ready as I can possibly be without having a clue about what is going to hit me."

What does being ready consist of?

- The room is ready (pics below)
- We have blankets, pillows, slings, nappies, baby wipes etc etc etc - the list is long and we have stuff.
- We have names picked out for a boy and for a girl
- The midwife is on call
- The birthing pool is in our room
- My UIF forms are done
- My last day of work is Friday

So technically I guess I am ready.

But for me the real ready is something different entirely. For me it is about being emotionally connected to this little being inside of me.

- I spend time sending love and comfort to the little one, speaking softly in the bath, rubbing my tummy, telling him / her how excited mommy and daddy are to meet him / her

- My husband and I talk about all the things we want to teach the little one. Not things like throw a ball but that life is a wonder and should be treasured, always to dream big, to be afraid but to be courageous too, to enjoy nature, to have a love for words, books and art, to laugh, to be courteous to all. We could go on and on and we will

- I spend quiet time everyday imagining the birth, talking to baba and asking him/her to work with mommy to make this not so hard for each of us

- I visualise the three of us as a family and let my heart swell with joy and rest my hand on my belly to feel the little one give me a little nudge / kick of acknowledgement

- I write about my fears, my hopes, the wonder of it all so it gets out and doesn't sit in my head swirling around

For me preparing for us to be a family is far more important than the stuff. To us the love in our house is far more valuable than a fancy cot, pram or baby gadget.

So has a final salute to our lives as just two the most awesome of husbands and myself are going for our "last date". I know it won't be our last date but I am pretty sure it is going to be a while before we go on a date again. So tonight, I am putting on a pretty dress, doing my hair and I might risk high heels for a fabulous dinner at a place we have been wanting to go to for a while. Goodbye old life, we eagerly await for the new one to begin!

PICTURES OF NURSERY

A family friend's cot, Andre's old mobile, some books, an old chair, my mom's old table

Home made shelves, hand painted wall stencils

Andre's old cupboard transformed by a lick of paint

A chest homemade by grandpa & painted my myself filled with books & nappies

The overall ensemble :)

Let the Dreams Begin

So I had my first child related nightmare last night.

In my dream I had given birth to our little baba. The very next scene I am walking down the street with a colleague of mine as we walk to a job. I was telling her about buying breast pads (yip, I have bought breast pads - so charming!) and telling her this triggered some distant memory...Oh yes, I had given birth. And then the questions started to run through my head at a rapid pace...Did I look at my child? Had I fed her/him? I realised I had done neither of these things. I turned around and started pumping my legs as fast as they would go to get back home as soon as I could.

It was horrifying but I suspect it is the first of many panic stricken dreams where I am underachieving as a mom. With 5 weeks to go, (if I go full term - the doctor said I should prepare for an early delivery) the thought that there will actually be a tiny human being in my arms is starting to become real, very REAL.

Now it doesn't take a Freud major to see how my mind is still trying to transition from working professional to new mom; how the reality of the baby is still unreal despite carrying this little one inside of me and feeling every little movement, hiccup, elbow and foot. I have heard other parents say that you can never really prepare, once they put that tiny human in your arms your whole world turns upside down and nothing is ever the same.

I look forward to this new phase of our lives, and learning how to be a parent with my partner in crime (possibly the best husband in the world and I just know he will be an even better father!) We spent most of the weekend buying the last bits and bobs for the baba and when I say bits and bobs I mean we spent a small fortune on our credit cards...ouch! My bestie and I tackled painting the feature wall of the nursery which now looks like a complete mess but once i can put everything in its final place I think it will look just perfect (pictures to follow from before, during and then after).

So we should be all wrapped up and ready to rumble in 2 weeks. And then? And then there is nothing left to do but wait for this massive event that will change us for the rest our lives.