Let the Dreams Begin

So I had my first child related nightmare last night.

In my dream I had given birth to our little baba. The very next scene I am walking down the street with a colleague of mine as we walk to a job. I was telling her about buying breast pads (yip, I have bought breast pads - so charming!) and telling her this triggered some distant memory...Oh yes, I had given birth. And then the questions started to run through my head at a rapid pace...Did I look at my child? Had I fed her/him? I realised I had done neither of these things. I turned around and started pumping my legs as fast as they would go to get back home as soon as I could.

It was horrifying but I suspect it is the first of many panic stricken dreams where I am underachieving as a mom. With 5 weeks to go, (if I go full term - the doctor said I should prepare for an early delivery) the thought that there will actually be a tiny human being in my arms is starting to become real, very REAL.

Now it doesn't take a Freud major to see how my mind is still trying to transition from working professional to new mom; how the reality of the baby is still unreal despite carrying this little one inside of me and feeling every little movement, hiccup, elbow and foot. I have heard other parents say that you can never really prepare, once they put that tiny human in your arms your whole world turns upside down and nothing is ever the same.

I look forward to this new phase of our lives, and learning how to be a parent with my partner in crime (possibly the best husband in the world and I just know he will be an even better father!) We spent most of the weekend buying the last bits and bobs for the baba and when I say bits and bobs I mean we spent a small fortune on our credit cards...ouch! My bestie and I tackled painting the feature wall of the nursery which now looks like a complete mess but once i can put everything in its final place I think it will look just perfect (pictures to follow from before, during and then after).

So we should be all wrapped up and ready to rumble in 2 weeks. And then? And then there is nothing left to do but wait for this massive event that will change us for the rest our lives.