I cant hack it.

Yip, I said it. I can’t hack it in this crazy advertising world no more. 

Becoming a mommy has changed me. It has taught me the joy of the quiet moments, it has taught me to seek out the peace, to make space for doing nothing but laying cheek to cheek with the people I love. It has taught me to put aside my ego to make space for my heart to grow bigger and fuller.

So…I QUIT… Yip. I handed in a hastily written resignation letter last week after 4 weeks in the position.

Why did I quit? I got told that “while we respect families and the fact that you have a baby we also need you to put in the hours and work late every night because that’s just how we do it.” I’m not sure what part of that “respects families”. After that it was easy. It took me a few hours to type up a resignation letter and put an end to a job I hate.

I think my husband did a little happy dance the day I resigned. While it puts pressure on us financially (one salary aint going to cut it), I don’t think he could handle another week of having me miserable, sick, irritated, and generally awful to be around.

Before I was driven by the chaos, the deadlines, job bags, creativity, boardroom meetings, selling ideas, brainstorming. Now when I am faced with deadlines, chaos, pressure and stress I recoil. It affects me physically and emotionally. It does far more harm than that paycheck can ever undo.

So I am back at square one. What to do with my life? I have spent 5 years in advertising, moving up the proverbial ladder just to find out I’d rather jump off the ladder than continue to dedicate life and limb for the guys at the top. I would love to apply my skills in a way that allows me to eat lunch in peace, go to the toilet without having to take my phone with me in case there is an “emergency”. So I am on the lookout for that. I would love to work for myself and consult managing my own hours and deadlines.

You cant tell me that it isn’t possible, right?

Wish me luck people. I need to change the world to suit me – it’s never an easy task but certainly is a worthwhile one.