It has been a while since I wrote – that’s because our
little angel decided to arrive 2 weeks early and we have spent the last 3 weeks
soaking in the new life we have found ourselves with. I have experienced so much
over the past 3 weeks and I shall endeavour to share these experiences as
candidly as I can. We will start at the beginning.
The Arrival
Thursday, 18 April 2013
The day started differently from the rest. As the alarm went
off, my husband snuggled closer and whispered in my ear – ‘stay in bed with me
today’. We often fantasize about throwing the covers over our heads and
ignoring the outside world, but then as the second alarm goes off we sigh and
get out of bed. But not today. Who could ignore his warm breath in my ear
asking me to steal some time and spend it with him in the warmth of our bed? It
was a magical few hours. There was so much love that morning that the rest of
the world had to just … wait. And wait it did.
Eventually I got dressed, pink panties and black stockings.
I can’t remember what I threw on over those 2 items but the sight of those
black stockings and pink panties are etched in my mind. It was 11 o’ clock when
I arrived at the office for my second to last day before maternity leave. As I
walked from the car to the office I felt a trickle between my legs. Ooops.
Incontinence?! Well that is embarrassing!
As I entered the office the trickle became more like a gush,
a gush that sent me running to the bathroom. I sat there staring unbelieving at
my wet pink panties and black stockings. Eventually a colleague came in to ask
if I was okay. It was then that I had the courage to call Andre and the
midwife. The words the midwife spoke – ‘It
sounds like your waters broke which means your baby is coming in the next 8
hours’ made it all very real. The moment we had prepared for was upon us. I choked
on the wave of emotion that rippled through me.
I said a harried goodbye to co-workers and headed home to
the safe arms of my husband. We hugged tightly and smiled. There were no words.
We sat in the baby room packing our hospital bag (just in case). We started to
get our room ready and began to set up the birthing pool. We didn’t make any
phonecalls, we just moved slowly around the house getting things ready smiling
at each other.
After an hour or more I started to feel period like aches.
Very mild but definitely regular. Contractions. Okay, so that is what that felt
like. After half an hour or an hour we started to time them and were confused
by the fact that the contractions seem to be very close together and quite
long. This meant we were close. But surely not?!
We put on the music I had spent the last 3 months meditating
to and I got into a rhythm of listening and breathing. My bestie arrived with
the urn that we would need to top up the warm water in the pool. By then, when
the contractions came I needed Andre with me. He held my hand and stared
straight into my eyes and we breathed together. I kept calling for him when the
new wave would start and we would do it together.
And then suddenly things kicked into a new gear. The
contractions changed from period like cramps to pushing. I could feel my
insides twisting and pushing, I could feel the baby begin to move and make its
way towards the outside world. It was then that I went primal. I screamed, with
every animal instinct in me. There was nothing human there. I was aware of
myself screaming. It felt liberating, it felt right.
The baby was coming and s/he was coming right now. I was
certain. We had two contractions like that. I was afraid – was I supposed to
push? Where was the midwife? The baby was coming right now and I wasn’t sure
what to do. Andre managed to break through the primal barrier and get me back
into our room, back into his eyes. I resisted the pushing as much as I could. I
held on to his pupils for dear life.
By now there was a midwife doing some low level flying over
Ou Kaapse Weg. I felt such relief as the midwife burst into the room. She gave
me a huge kiss on my forehead and a beaming smile. Things were back in control.
I think you could feel the tension fly out of the house as both me and my
husband relinquished control to our experienced team. The pool was abandoned. This was happening now,
on our bed.
On the bed with my husband supporting my back and holding my
hands we began to push. I closed my eyes and went with it. I was zoned. I am
not sure what length of time it took for the baby to arrive. It felt like 20
minutes, it could have been 40 minutes but definitely not more than that. I kept my eyes closed and listened to the instructions
and words of encouragement but I was in my own world. Instead of pushing the
baby out, I let my body push him/her out. But when I heard the words – ‘One
last push’ and I let it go then, I pushed with all my might and I felt the body
leave me quickly.
It was only then that I opened my eyes. I saw this tiny alien
figure with arms outstretched, mouth open and crying, reaching for me. I held
this tiny thing to my bare chest. I looked at Andre in wonder, we both cried as
we touched our tiny little baby.
There was question on my mind - ‘Is it a boy or girl?’ Everyone
shared a puzzled look and we all shared a laugh as we realised none of us had a
clue. We lifted that tiny body up to reveal that we had given birth to a tiny
baby girl.
Chloe Fourie was born at 16:53 on Thursday, 18 April 2013.
She weighed 2.8kg and was 59.3cm in length. She was perfect in every way. From
the moment my waters broke to the moment Chloe was born it took 5 hours and 20
minutes, of which I probably spent 2 and a half hours in active labour. She was
born peacefully at home on our bed. It wasn’t the water birth I had planned but
the water wasn’t needed. I didn’t find the birth stressful or painful. It was all
as it should be. I felt safe and secure in what I was doing and I had the
utmost faith in my body and team that we would deliver a perfectly healthy baby.
I had never doubted this.
Then it was just the 3 of us – our family, in bed, at home. She
was so peaceful. She lay between us, where we just stared at her in wonder, listening
to the plethora of squeaks and sighs that escaped her tiny mouth. She was
perfect. We were in awe; of her, of each other, the process, how simple it was
– how it all resulted in this tiny little human who was lying in our bed.
And just when you thought that there would be unicorns and
roses forever more Day 3 after the birth hit me and it all started to spiral
towards another place where my strength and sanity would be tested…
